“Face the challenge”- 27 August 2017.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Sunday, 10 September 2017 21:58

A.C

Q. I am 21 years old and the only source of income to my family. My father is unemployed from the last one year and hence I have to work to support my family. We are having a loan of 20 lac. I am suffering from stress, depression  and other health issues and I don't have anyone to share this with.  I had a quarrel with my best friend 9 months ago & we are not on talking terms anymore. We were friends for the last 13 years. She back-stabbed me. My main problem is that my family members don't understand me. I have to work all day & come home & do all the house hold chores. I get very tired at the end of the day. I am not at all appreciated for what I do. They say that I am completely useless and incapable of doing anything in life. I have to face dirty abusive language. I wish to do PG but I cannot as I have to work. My whole salary is taken by my mother for the daily needs and I am left with nothing. My family members and relatives are pressuring to marry a guy who is approx 10 years elder to me just because he is rich & will turn our financial conditions. I don't want to marry him. They just want to get rid of me. If I stand & fight for my rights I am the who has to end up apologizing. I have tried all possible ways & means to get the situation better but I have failed always. I am turning into an insomnia. I cry to myself whenever I am alone. I am totally lost & confused. I fear to face the future. Nothing cheers me up. Everything seems lifeless to. I don't get time for myself. Please reply ASAP.

Ans. This is a terribly unfortunate situation for you. You must be a very brave girl to work at home and job and then be dominated too by your own mother. It baffles me to know that she can be abusive too and also interested in marrying you off to a rich but older guy who might have agreed to pay off the loan. Perhaps you could meet the guy once at least and see if he is a kind and caring fellow. Tell him you would like to study further and he may agree.  If you are lucky he might treat you well and solve all your problems. You would be safe and secure after facing so many hardships. If you feel he is unkind and insensitive then run away from home and work in another city. You may like to warn your parents with the threat and then follow it. Or else just do it. Another way to go get married to a boy of your choice and leave this home. Your parents must learn to respect you and your contribution. God bless you.

B.K

Q. I like a girl since childhood and she is very friendly with me too. We are both in junior college. Recently she told me her feelings and we both went out for movies and outings. My parents caught us and we both got a big thrashing. My parents have big expectations from me and I want to make a very good career. We are good students and want to rise higher in life. We have high dreams and she makes me motivated all the time. I do better when I talk to her and feel relaxed. I cannot stop talking to her and get away. My parents are keeping a strict watch on me and that is disturbing me. I cannot concentrate and is afraid of losing my entrance to a good college. And my parents will blame my friendship and that girl for it. All this is depressing me. Please help me. She is also upset and misses me.

Ans. This is a challenge for you to stay calm and prove your worth to yourself and to your friendship. Tell her to stay calm and concentrate on her studies. Reaffirm your friendship to her and tell her to face this challenge bravely. If you continue to do well your parents belief in you will get reinforced and they will soften their stance. Once you are both in college you can restart your friendship. Sometimes it is good for the friendship to face the test of time and obstacles and emerge stronger. This is just a phase and not the end of the story. It is like a ‘break’ or an interval in a story! Cheer up! All is not lost my dear! Prove your worth too.