“Clear the clutter from your mind”- 29 October 2017.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Sunday, 31 December 2017 17:11

Q. I am harsh and I am 21 years old. I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. I tried quitting it but I am not able to quit because of it I even steal money from my parents and my girl-friends purse. I am very scared that everyone will find it. Help me with it and guide me to the correct path.

Ans. I hope your family is aware of your addiction and if not please inform them at the earliest. They could then admit you to a hospital or a de-addiction centre for a week or ten days. Along with the detoxification process done by doctors you would need counselling and psychotherapy for your mind and behaviour. Do not be scared of the treatment process, actually it is a simple and effective method of treatment. you may not succeed if you tried to give it all by yourself without professional help. If you could have given it up by now you would have done it. So go ahead without wasting much time.

Wasay.

Q. I am 22 years old CA student. I am very depressed because i am having issues with studies. I can’t concentrate on my studies. I am stressed. Whenever I open book I zone out and I can’t understand single word. I keep on thinking about failures. My exams are coming soon and I want to make my parents proud. Please help me with it.

Ans. Please be sure that you have the right aptitude for doing CA because it is a professional degree course and needs a high aptitude in that field. If it is a wrong choice, it would be best to give it up and choose the best career option for you. An aptitude test would help in assessment of your ability and a discussion would help in guiding you in the right direction. If there are other distractions then you should focus on removing them and clearing your mind of all the clutter and get going with studies with full concentration.

Anonymous

Q. I am 21years old and in a relationship with a guy since two years. Ever since we came into this relationship things started getting complicated. He has a girl in his friend circle who likes him a lot and still does. She also confessed it to him long ago to which he refused saying he has no such feelings for her. But chose to maintain friendship. There is another girl in the same circle with whom he was in a temporary relationship. He soon realized he did not have feelings for her and broke up. But he is friends with her too. They have started bothering me because of their changed behaviour towards me. I am the one who has to face all this in college every day. When I asked him to simply put an end to this drama he plainly refused saying he cannot break his friendship with anyone because of me. I am mentally disturbed and unstable and choose to break up and get out of all this. But he is not letting that happen too. When I shared this with him and asked him to chose between us he refused asking me to adjust. I have been adjusting long but it is too much to take for me. Please advice.

 

Ans. This is a strange situation truly. He seems to be an overly extroverted person who states bluntly that ‘he cannot break his friendship with anyone because of you’. This statement by itself is a hurting one and indicates the importance of your friendship in his mind. His friends are obviously very important to him and he will continue with this type of behaviour all his life. You might be also important to him but he will not sacrifice anything for you is clear. So now the decision lies with you whether you can tolerate this type of position in his life or not. If you cannot tolerate this low value ascribed to you and your relationship with him, please re-think your status and your future with him. If you think you can grant him this freedom with his friends, old and new friends, whether they are girls or boys, then you could continue with him. Many time people with highly extroverted traits and high degree of need for independence have poor family values and can be troublesome for a girl who is looking for a future with a stable family and stable relationship. First think deeply about it and then you may convey it to him that it does not suit your personality to continue with a relationship in such conditions. You could see his reaction then. If he is serious about you, he will try to change his ways or he will choose to leave you.