“Illusions and delusions”- 4 February 2018.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Wednesday, 04 April 2018 17:56

A.K

Q. I am 28 year old guy. I have my own business of stationery. We are leading sellers of it and we have a proper market of it. I am not married yet because I don’t feel happy. I feel that even if I work it is not the kind of work which I love. I feel it is more of duty and a burden on me. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I feel helpless and hopeless. I can’t find the proper hope in my life or reason to live. I sometimes feel I should die instead of following the same routine in my life.  I give up I want to quit and escape from here. Please help me what to do or someday this sadness will kill me.

Ans. Yes, I understand this problem of having to take over the family business which is not of your liking. Scores of people face this moral and psychological dilemma. Many of those who happily take over the family business are lucky and blessed and many suffer like you. This needs to be discussed many times over with your father and your mother and you will need to convince them of your mental plight. I hope you have an alternative goal of your liking and a plan of action for the same. Your mental clarity of what you want to pursue will help you convince your parents of your seriousness and the viability of your goals. If you just want to escape this situation without a clear goal for future then it is better that you hang on till you find an alternative. The fact is that work is important, whether you like it or not. You are also 28 years of age.

M.S

Q. I am 32 years old female. I stay alone as I am working and even my husband is working in other city. I stay in Nagpur. From past one month I am facing some serious issues. I feel like wherever I go or whatever I do someone is been following me. I see shadows or ghost. I get very scared. I even sweat like anything.  One day I was trying to look myself into the mirror and I almost saw something which I am not quite sure about. I think it’s all in my brain and it is a mental problem but still I am very cloudy about it. What should I do Ma'am?

Ans. Living alone can be scary at times if you are not comfortable with it. You are right about it being a mental condition and part of your psyche. It could also arise out of being suspicious about someone or something and it obviously part of being insecure and fearful. Ghosts can be an illusion or a delusion. You must not hesitate and come for counselling to help us ascertain the problem. Do not worry, it can be cured totally. It indicates a slight disturbance of the mind and can be taken care of easily.

V.W

Q. I am a 17 year old guy. I am in love with a girl since I was in seventh std. She is one year younger than me. I was very much scared to express my feelings to her about it. She was not having any idea about my feelings towards her. After 3 years she change the school due to some personal reason. I was very sad after she left the school. Then after some days I saw her. She was with her parents travelling somewhere. After 1 month she sent me message on social site and we started talking. At that time I was in 10 std. I started going in her house area she would wait for me in her house balcony. We started meeting each other. And after some days I propose her and she replied negatively. But also she would wait for me and once I had gone in her house also. She is very intelligent and good looking and I am average boy. Now she not reply me I asked her why she not accept my proposal she said that she cannot be in relationship for more time. I don't I don't know that she love me or not. My friends say to block her on social site but I am not able to. I think one day she would message. Please suggest to how I can get over it. How to know that she love me or not? Please suggest to how I can get over it.

Ans. She certainly likes you but not enough to commit to you. You are too young to make proposals in 10th Std! Stop making proposals and just maintain a good happy friendship which she seems open to. That is sensible of her not to get carried away with your emotions. Enjoy her company, tell her to forget your proposal and to get back to being friends. Tell her you miss her friendship and that you promise to never trouble her. I am glad you have not blocked her on social media for you like her and need her and she is not troubling you in any way. In fact you are troubling her by getting serious about a good friendship. Just leave it at that and enjoy healthy friendship.