“Stop self defeating attitudes”- 20 January 2016.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 04 February 2016 19:34

Recently I came across a heart warming incident. In a specific scheme in a small town, it was declared that women will get 25% discount. A woman leader of that area declined the privilege with the statement that ‘till women keep looking for ‘benefits’ based on gender she will never feel ‘equal’ to men’. And so she stood up with conviction and courage to say ‘NO’ to benefits. That is something you would agree, to be able to say ‘no’ to benefits. I wish I could remember the exact news item that I read just last week. This is the right type of attitude we need to develop in the minds of women. She has to get out of the ‘I am entitled to privileges because I am a woman’ thinking. This is self defeating to progress and development. For behind this attitude lie many negative beliefs, such as, ‘I am a woman and hence week and need privileges’. Another belief could be that ‘I am a woman and hence need the support of a man’. ‘I cannot fight on an equal level with a man so I need to be motivated’. And so on..

Women need to change their attitudes for the better. They need to own up their selves and take responsibility for themselves and their lives. They need to develop utterly positive mind-sets and take the challenges in their stride. They need to win and lose on the level playing field and prove their worth. They need to fight battles within themselves along with the battles outside in the real world. They need to mature and grow up. They need to be more serious about themselves. They should stop begging and growling. It shames me and enrages me to see women behaving stupidly, nastily and notoriously with others.

Some married women may believe that they can have the best of both worlds. Take an example- Mrs. X. is married to a well to do executive so she is a lucky and happy person. She does not like to work in the house as she is not interested in domestic work, she never was. She is neither interested in making a career as she never was serious about her education. She does not like to shoulder much responsibility as she thinks they can hire servants for that work. Her husband expects’ that she would at least prepare his breakfast and pack his lunch box too to leave for office on time. Her husband cannot nag her for not discharging her duties for she has the Domestic Violence Act 498 A to back her and support her if he does. She only has to shout “harassment”, ‘mental cruelty”, “injustice” and she can scare the shit out of him.

How unfortunate can the situation be? We cannot raise ‘bogies’ about women issues. A misuse and abuse of the benefits of law is going to boomerang on women soon enough. People will stop taking women seriously if they do it often enough.

When a marriage goes sour and divorce is imminent women may start pulling the children to their side and ‘poison’ their minds against their father. This is the greatest disservice they can do to the upbringing of children. This is the biggest crime they commit to destroy the innocence of their own children for their selfish gains. We have witnessed many a cases of women fighting a battle with their husband by using the children as a shield to protect their selfish self. In one case the woman tutored her children to say all sorts of lies and stories to the counsellor against their father and their grand-mother which was done so that she could justify her case for divorce and for getting the custody of the children. This nonsense cannot be tolerated just because she is a woman.

Women are not holy cows who commit no sin/crime. Women are not equally notorious as men but are capable enough for it. Women are capable of playing games and equally ridden with vices. But their moves are more subtle and within the four walls.

If we believe that a woman is the superior gender as well as the finer sex whom God has endowed with more virtues than a man then she will have to prove it by showing her superiority by her thought and actions. She might be destined to lead the world to better sense and harmony. And that would be a day of reckoning.