Example of Section Blog layout (FAQ section)

“Make him responsible”- 21 August 2016.

PDF
Print
E-mail
Written by Rita Aggarwal
Sunday, 21 August 2016 19:13

V.S.G

Q. I am a 18 year old daughter of my parents. I have gone through your ‘Shades of grey’ column published on 10th July. My father loves me very much but after 12th result his behaviour has changed towards me because of poor scores and high expectations. I feel very upset and helpless when he doesn’t behave in a good way and does not talk to me nicely. I always dream of becoming lecturer in physics and preparing for it. But my father is unhappy with my decision as he wants me to become a doctor. Please help me.

Ans. You should have asked your father to read my column as it deals with the conflict between the child and the parent’s expectations of the career choice of their child. Becoming a lecturer in physics is a great idea and more importantly it’s been your dream you say. That is a great line to pursue and the salary of a lecturer is good nowadays. I wonder why he is forcing you to pursue medicine. Medicine is a difficult and costly course of study. The seats in the government colleges are few and the private college fees are high especially the post graduate courses are out of reach of middle class segment. I think you should continue with your pursuit of physics and give up medicine. Please do not sit at home for a year and reappear for medical entrance. If he does not get convinced request him for a session on career guidance and bring him along. Be brave and follow your dreams.

B.M

Q. My brother is in Std 11th and is not concentrating on his studies. He does not like to attend college and goes out with his friends and roams here and there. His attendance is low in class and I came to know about this from one of his classmates. We lost our father some years ago and I and my mother manage the house. He has been a loved child and father used to love him a lot. We all love him but now we are worried about his future. What if he gets into wrong habits and bad company? What should we do? He has to take care of mother when he grows up and I cannot be there always. Please advice.

Ans.

It is possible that the sudden loss of his father has affected him and he might be in a loss of direction for that. He may have into bad habits and wrong company and losing interest in studies. Boys may drown their emotional sorrows in destructive behaviours. This is a known fact. Some sessions of counselling will help understand the problem and solve it. Your mother and you need to get strict with him but stopping his pocket money and asking for results. Tell him to start working if he is not interested in studies. If your love has spoiled him now it is time to get strict, lay some ground rules and ask for results. Stop pampering him and make him responsible. Love should be up to the point that is necessary, then, you will have to make him understand how important his role is in the family, especially after the loss that the family has suffered. He needs to see the aversive outcomes of getting into bad habits that people get into.

L.G

Q. I do not understand what my boyfriend wants from me. He was good in the beginning for few months and after that he has started behaving badly with me. He shouts at me and keeps nagging me many times. I cannot tolerate it any more. What should I do? Will he think I am a very selfish person and how should I know what he wants and how I should behave? I am totally confused and don’t know what to do. I sometimes think I should not take his calls and then he begins to shout at me and I again say sorry. Please guide me. I am feeling depressed and sad. I many times think of suicide but I know it is a bad thing to do. My family will suffer.

 

Ans. Make an attempt to understand what his problem is in a cool, calm way and why is he shouting on you. If things work out like that, then the problem is solved and if not, then do not think twice just move on because there are better people out there. Also remember, suicide is a cowardly and foolish act! Especially when it is done for someone who is just a boyfriend. I am happy to know you are making efforts to understand the situation otherwise call it quits. Some things need to be ended if it continues to disturb you. It is not worth the trouble. You have better things to do and being happy is important. If the relationship becomes a pain terminate it.

“Learn from experiences”- 14 August 2016.

PDF
Print
E-mail
Written by Rita Aggarwal
Sunday, 21 August 2016 19:11

Priyanka. D

Q. I am pursuing B.Sc in Chemistry, Botany & Zoology. I want to become Food officer. Please tell me what is the eligibility criteria for it? In which field I have to do masters? Which are the institutions for it? Will I be able to appear for IIT-JAM Examinations? Please help me out. Thanking You.

Ans. Even with a graduation you can become a food inspector in the government sector. There are state exams and central government exams like the UPSC. It is necessary to be a science graduate and chemistry is an essential subject that is required. You could google online for the dates for UPSC and state exams for the post of food inspector. If you are keen to do a post graduation then M.Sc Chemistry could be a good choice. The other preferred courses are food technology, dairy technology, biotechnology or medicine.

ABC.

Q. My son is 12 years old. Lately he has been going slow in studies and remains irritated with me in special. He at times says that he does not want to go to school and then at times he is normal and looking forward to meeting his friends. He loves to play and is losing interest in his studies. It looks like this. Will counselling help him and how many times do I bring him? What should I tell him where we are going? Please help me.

Ans. Yes, counselling will help him and you can bring him by saying that we are going for advice in improvement for studies or to a teacher or tutor or something like that. We need to find out the reasons for his decline in studies and his growing irritation. He is ambivalent about going to school you mention. There could be some issues with the teacher or with his school mates. Find out if he is being bullied and teased by someone in school. Another factor could be a learning difficulty that is beginning to show up in middle school. He could be finding difficulty in a specific subject or many subjects or with reading and writing. Such learning problems mostly go unnoticed and the child can be blamed for it. His growing irritation could be a consequence of his learning problems. If that is the problem then it can be assessed and remedied. Do not delay too much. The earlier the better and easier.

T. S

Q. I study in 12 Std and I like a girl in my class. I proposed her and she agreed. We are in the same coaching centre too and we used to bunk classes and go for movies and restaurants to eat. As a result I lost my attention in studies and am feeling distracted and emotionally imbalanced. I was always a good student and this has happened for the first time. Recently I saw my friend with some other boy and she was talking to him. I also saw them in a restaurant with the same boy but she said that they were in a group and he is part of the group. I want to leave her and concentrate on my studies and become a good student again. Please help me. I am very upset and keep cursing myself.

Ans. It is sad to know that the girl is not good and may be cheating on you. This is upsetting especially when you committed yourself to her. But the good side is that now you are emotionally free to concentrate on your studies and make a good career for yourself. You seem to have a strong and healthy mind that can revert back to its goal after a set-back. In a way it is good for you that she is gone and you can focus on a making a good career. Such friendships are a severe distraction and take away a lot of time. You have learnt a good lesson, cherish the good moments of the friendship and say good bye to her totally. Never regret an experience- you always learn many lessons from experience. They form your wisdom bank.

P.F

Q. I am in college, I have been scoring low and loosing focus how should I improve my learning skills?

 

Ans: The first step towards effective learning is to imbibe the qualities of an attentive listener. A person will only learn when her/his mind is ready to accept certain changes and wants to improve. During the course of learning one has to undergo situations which might not feel relevant in respective fields therefore the motto should be, “nothing goes waste”. A positive attitude and respecting teachers is a necessary prerequisite. Lastly to learn, no matter what and from whom, the personal ego and excessive self-esteem should be left at home.

“State clearly your dilemma”- 7 August 2016.

PDF
Print
E-mail
Written by Rita Aggarwal
Saturday, 13 August 2016 18:47

S.C

Q. I am a 12th pass student. I gave NEET 1 but couldn't score so I gave NEET 2 in hope that I will get a reputed government college. I scored even less than NEET 1. I gave my best to score more but couldn't score even 30%. Now my parents are asking me to take drop and prepare at home. I don't have courage and even confidence on myself that I would be able to prepare for next year. I don't even like to discuss and read NCERT books again. I don't faith in me anymore. I pretend to be not caring about my result but I do really care. I can't tell my parent's about my mind's condition. They will think that I am just trying to gain their sympathy and making excuses for not studying. What should I do now? Please help me.

Ans. It seems to me that you do not want to continue with your decision to compete for admissions in medical studies. Or you want to pursue medicine but have found the entrance exams to be tough and have lost your confidence to prepare for it again. If either of that is true you must inform your parents in clear terms that you would not like to do medicine and would like to opt for another course of study. This is absolutely alright and you have the right to change your decision and choose something in line with your aptitude and interest and something that gets you success. If your parents insist on repeating for medical entrance, then please stand up and assert your decision boldly without being rude to them. Tell them that you are not willing to spend another year in preparing for tests. If this does not work then a session of counselling will certainly help you and your parents to help you make the right choice. We can do an assessment of your aptitude and guide you. Do not despair and never lose your confidence and never give up the struggle. Your parents will understand you once you state things clearly.

A.B

Q. I am a 17 year old girl. I recently took admission in engineering college. They have informed us that the first 3 days will be for social skills and self development. I get really anxious while speaking in front of crowds. I am not exactly a person who enjoys such programmes. Such situations make me worried and anxious and hence I cannot think about anything else. Please give me some advice so I can stop worrying.

Ans. Yes, I can understand your situation and plight. You must be introverted and shy and find such programs terrifying. It increases your anxiety and fear. But let me assure you that this is a good programme for students and personality development with social skills is an absolute necessity for graduates. One day you will have to learn these skills for your interview and group discussion will require these qualifications. It is best to start them right now rather than wait for more years or wait till the last moment. I can assure you that however tough they may seem you will be able to develop them under guidance from a good teacher. The only thing to worry about is whether the teacher/ trainer is good or not. If people laugh and make fun when you fumble, just laugh with them and enjoy the process of learning. This should be your attitude and you will soon reap the benefits of the process. Do not miss the crucial three days and just allow your mind to be free and relaxed. Do some practice in deep breathing and just sit there quietly and take full participation in the workshop whenever your turn comes.

B.S

Q. I like a girl in my class. We were together in school also but then I did not think about her a lot. In college she has changed and become friendly and chats a lot with other boys. I want to talk to her also but feel shy and scared. What if she shouts at me or behaves rudely with me? I don’t know what to do and how to tell her. Please can you help me with this strange problem.

Ans. It seems you feel attracted to this girl for some reason in college and never felt this way in school. If you are not too shy go ahead and introduce yourself and remind her of school and class. You could make a group of school mates in your college since that seems to be the area of affinity. She will never shout at you if you are polite and decent in your behaviour and if you do not make any hints of emotions and feelings. Just behave normally and be friendly. Being excessive friendly might put her off and then she may shout. If you remain within limits it can be an interesting and healthy exchange.

 

“Children have differing gifts”- 31 July 2016.

PDF
Print
E-mail
Written by Rita Aggarwal
Wednesday, 03 August 2016 17:34

T.K

Q. I gave MBBS entrance but will not get a college. My parents are being mean to me, ignoring me. No support or love. At this time when everything is against you, shouldn't you count on parental love and support? They will be good only if I fulfil their wish to become a doctor and be angry when I tell them about any other course I have to do. They wasted my year because they didn't let me take admission anywhere else even for backup, coercing me somehow to do MBBS only and now I'm stuck. I have other qualities and interests but they condescend them. It has hit me pretty hard too but they are not letting me channelize this energy anywhere (like classes), not giving me money to pay fee. They would've done that if I got good marks. What do they want me to do, sulk all day? More than not being able to crack the entrance, what's bugging me is my parents' reaction and pressure and the feeling of being worthless and a disappointment. If I cry, not one of them will console me. Instead they will ignore me and be mean because I didn't do well in the exam. Maybe this field is not for me but there are a lot of things I can excel at but they live with the notion that only doctors earn good money. I feel like dying at times. I think the only reason I am forcing myself to like the field of medicine is because I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't know how to deal with this.

Ans. I am shocked at reading your mail and fully empathise with you. Your parents are certainly not doing the right thing by pressurising you to do medicine in spite of the fact that you have not qualified for it. You even spent an extra year on their insistence. You have a good command over English I am sure as you write without flaws and that could be one great area for making a career in English language. You say you have many other talents which could be utilised for career making which is nice to know. A timely career guidance session could have helped you as well as your parents to make the correct assessment of your talents, your interests which aids in making the right choice. You could bring your parents even now for career discussions and we could explain many things to them to help them change their attitudes. I cannot understand their behaviour and their reactions and their expectations from you. Not every child is suitable for medicine or engineering. The world would be a boring place if that happened. We need in this world all types of people and all types of professionals. I hope your parents will see the right thing soon and bring you for future course of action. I hope they will get over their anger and begin to love and care for you like always.

A.S Amravati.

Q. I am a 15 year old boy. I am studying for my 10th std boards. I believe in focusing in my studies and not diverting my attention to other wasteful things.

But one day, a girl from my class asked for my mathematics textbook. I gave it to her but later thought that why in the whole class she asked for the book from me as everybody brings mathematics textbook every day.  This was not for the first time but since the session started I have experienced this situation four to five times. I am having a suspicion that she is trying to divert my attention from studies. I even talked with my parents on this topic, but they said that I should ignore this. I do not want to score less in the board exams.

Your advice would help me a lot. Please provide me your advice.

Ans. This is wonderful! I am extremely happy to receive a mail as yours. You seem to be a determined and well focused boy with a clear head. This is called ‘a wise head on young shoulders’. This is the best combination for the youth for they have energy and creativity which needs to be utilised for better work. As a student your primary task is to study and make a great career ahead. That is exactly what you are doing. That you are able to see through the ploy of your class mate shows clarity of mind and yes of course she is either trying to distract you or trying to make friends with you. Either way it may not be a good thing for you for we do not know her intentions. If she is a good student like you she may not be a bad person but if she is casual in her studies then certainly keep away totally. Keep up the good work.

<< Start < Prev 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Next > End >>
Page 21 of 88