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“Treating depression timely”- 19 July 2015.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 30 July 2015 18:58

Anonymous.

Q. I am an 18 year old girl. I am good in academics and my social behaviour is also good. My parents and my younger sister say that I am the root cause of every argument. At that time I feel very bad. They sometimes also say that I am ‘abnormal’ but I am not. I’ve only helped them many times but they forget it. They don't talk to me properly, I feel very sad. I only apologise every time even if it’s not my fault. I can't come for counselling. They opine that I can only dream big but not achieve and I am good for nothing. My sister never respects me though she is five years younger than me. Please tell me how to deal with these problems.

Ans. This sounds very strange. When you feel that you are good in all ways in studies as well as social behaviour I wonder why your family behaves that way with you? What does your father say? If no member is on your side then you will have to re-evaluate your behaviour from a fresh perspective. There may be something you are missing in your self assessment. Ask your friends and other relatives you can trust if you are wrong in some way. You must know what behaviour of yours makes them feel that way. Try to talk to someone who understands your current situation and will also be able to be a connection with your family. However do not despair. Keep focused on your studies and achievement. Success changes many things. Have patience.

V.b

Q. I am 19 years old. From last few months I'm suffering from depression, anxiety, guilt some times. I get strong feelings of suicide. Ma’am, can you please take me out of this. I am ready for everything. I hope you take my matter seriously.

Ans. This is a very bad state of mind and needs immediate attention. We need to know the reasons and the causes of your depression. Has there been any past incident which makes you feel like that? Your parents are the best people who can understand your pain. Try talking to them about your mental condition. If you feel that’s not possible then share it with someone close to you or with someone whom you trust. Every problem has a solution and everything can be sorted. There are simple methods you can try at home. The first one is to think positive thoughts. The second is to exercise and work out your emotions. The third is to have friends and spend time with them. The next one is to have confidence in your-self. If nothing works you need to seek counselling immediately. Do not wait for more than a week.

P.V

Q. I am the mother of a 17 year old girl. She has completed her 12th. We are worried about her career. She is interested in dancing and wants to make her career in that field. She doesn’t want to do the course from Nagpur and we don’t want her to go out of Nagpur as she has never lived alone and is very dependent on me. It’s difficult to understand her behaviour. She wants everything to be done her way or else she becomes hyper and aggressive. Please guide us what to do?

Ans. We need to trust our children and their career choice and help them to achieve their goals in life. If your daughter is serious about her career decision, she will learn to adjust to the new atmosphere. As parents you need to make sure that the college and the place is safe for your child. If you are not convinced of her choice at all you could bring her for career guidance and counselling.

SS

Q.I am a 26 year old girl. I am a simple girl and want to lead a simple life. I want to get settled with the right person but every time I end up with the wrong guy. I sincerely try hard to maintain my relationship but I don’t know what goes wrong and I end up being alone. I feel lonely and unwanted. Please tell me what to do?

Ans. This is really unfortunate that this has happened to you and that you have been unlucky in love. This can happen to many people where they are unable to find the right choice .You could take a break and concentrate on your job and don’t get entangled in any relationship for now. Another alternative would be to trust your parent’s wisdom and entrust them with the responsibility to find the right partner for you. Being a simple person you may not be making a proper judgement of the person. I am sure you’ll find ultimately a good human being and you will lead a happy life.


 

“Making proper choices a serious business”- 12 July 2015.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 30 July 2015 18:55

R.A

Q. I'm final year student in MA in Eng literature. However I left it in the middle due to some reason. I'm a nature & animal lover and always wanted to make career in it. I planned to give UPSC for IFS but realized that I don't have required qualification for it. Now I'm mighty confused as I searched and searched but couldn't find any course or job in Nagpur related to my interest. My parents are asking me to continue M.A lit. But I don't want to. Please can you suggest me any path that involves my passion in animals & nature in Nagpur as my
parents won't let me go anywhere else? I would love to work in any NGO if you could suggest any trustworthy organization. Also any course that would help me get into NGOs. I want to do something good for others. I appreciate your help greatly.

Ans.  You don’t require any specific course to get into an NGOs. It actually is voluntary work and anyone interested can join. The NGO in Nagpur I can think of are  –Animal welfare organization and SPCA Borgaon, Nagpur. There is the Ujjwal Gaurakshan Trust. You could search further online. Another option and a better one could be to complete your masters programme and join the NGO on a part time basis.

S.M

Q. I'm 22 years old resident of Nagpur. I always wanted to be a doctor as science subject was my strong particularly Biology but my father put me in engineering field. Now this year I completed my engineering course. Even today I have the same love & interest for biology. So basically my question to you is that is there any hope that I can still do any course in medical field now? Not necessarily to be a doctor but any course related to medical field because I believe that I can do much better progress in medical than in engineering. Can I make my career possible in medical profession? Please suggest.

Ans. You could do a post graduate degree in Biomedical engineering or Medical Technology from a college in Maharashtra or any other state in India. There are many colleges offering this course, even IIT’s offer it I think. Padmashree Dr. DY Patil University - Dept of Biotechnology and Bioinformatics, Navi Mumbai(Maharashtra), and College of Engineering Pune also offer it. You could search for them online.

K.M

Q. I have cleared my 12 th in science I got 68%. Now I am very confused regarding my career. My parents want me to do engineering but my interest is in sketching. I just love doing that and according to my parents sketching has no future. They want me to do engineering and top in that so that I can work in big companies and earn well. They don’t want me to go out of station for studies but I want go. Please provide a feed back. Is there any career regarding sketching and related courses?

Ans.  Sketching is one part of art and design courses. I do not know if there is a full fledged course in it. It is taught in fine arts and forms a part of many courses. Are you interested in pure art career or a science and art combination? There are careers like architecture which is a combination of artistic talent as well as a scientific reasoning. There are art courses like commercial art, fine art, graphic designing, etc. A session of career guidance and counselling will help you decide properly. An aptitude test will give us your ability profile. That is the best way to take a decision which will affect your life and future. It needs to be thought out systematically.

M.B

Q. I am in second year engineering. I was failing in every exam since first year and now I am not promoted to third year. I am confused about what should I do now? Should I continue or should I opt for another course? Please suggest me as soon as possible

Ans. It is necessary that you first get your aptitude test done to check whether you are actually fit for engineering or not. Secondly it is important to know your area of interest and your personality factors. There is no point in failing like this- it is bad for your mental health. You should work for success and that comes only when you make the right choice.

 

“Habits do not die overnight”- 5 July 2015.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 30 July 2015 18:54

ABC.

Q. I am pursuing mechanical engineering course and now I am in 3 year. Mam I am really confused mam. I felt in love with a guy and I love him very much but when my parents came to know then we were separated due to our caste difference. My mom is single parent and for her until I have done everything right from engineering to study engineering in my home town, for her I left my dream to do my career in dance. Mam I am a classical dancer and I want to do my career in dance but my mom want to me to do engineering so for her I know she is alone, she has done many things for me and my brother, I don't want to hurt her but I love that guy and he also love me a lot and now he is going for merchant navy but my mom has warned me that if I went to that guy than she will leave me. I know she cares for me, she thinks if I am in relation than my academic performance will be lower but I am topper in my class every time. Mam please help me what should I do. I am very confused and frustrated. My mom is class 1 officer as well as P.hd. I don't know at this century she really thinks of caste n all. Mam plzz help me. I am really depressed.

Ans. Since you are already in third year engineering you will be completing the degree in another year. You can always pursue dance in a few years from now. Perhaps your mother has struggled a lot and feels that a steady income is important and dance has no guarantee of good money unless you become someone and make a name for yourself. Once you are independent and self- supporting, you can go back to dance. Meanwhile keep practicing it as much as you can as a hobby. Actually caste is no bar for marriage in today’s world. But your mother has her own reasons. You should respect her and understand her concerns. Let some time pass till both of you settle down. If the feelings last that long you will be in a position to take your own decisions and your mother might agree too as you would become independent and mature by then.

S.A

Q. I love a person badly, was in a relationship with him for over a year. He loved me back. But my insecurity made him frustrated. And, now suddenly he is ignoring me. He abused my parents and grandparents. But still I love him. Also, he has made one thing very clear, that he won't let me go for a job after marriage. I am against this. What should I do?

Ans. You should forget him as he has two clearl negative points. One is that he abused your parents and grandparents and you should not take that lightly. He will abuse you too tomorrow as that may be his habit. Habits do not die overnight and tend to persist for long times unless worked on seriously. Secondly he will not allow you to work and you would like to work anyway. This should not be acceptable to you at all. The feelings of love and attachment are one thing and getting married to him is another thing. It actually reveals his nature which is disrespecting towards people and especially women. He will make a terrible husband for you. He may be good for someone else who may share his ideas and thoughts but not for you. There is a limit to what you can compromise on.

S.D

Q. I am 19 years old, a resident of Nagpur. I always wanted to be in the Hotel industry serving the company at the managerial levels in my future. Mam I want your suggestions and advice on the same as to which way I should take off to achieve it. Whatever I have got to know from my elders and friends about the Hotel management stream is that there are two choices for me to do the same. Either I can take admission in BBA now and pursue my MBA in HM after that or I can directly go for the 3 or 4 years Degree course in HM. I want to know the scope and future career prospects in both the courses, also I want to know that are there any good colleges & institutions in Nagpur for the same which could give me a better career opportunity in India and abroad

Ans. The degree course after 12 Std would be a better idea The government institutes of hotel management are the best and provide good training. Campus placements are also good there. Mumbai, Aurangabad is well known ones. Further training in special areas can be taken abroad after graduation.

“Follow your passion”- 28 June 2015.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 30 July 2015 18:52

A.T

Q. I am a 24 years old BE graduate and “visharad” in "Indian Classical Music" as a vocalist. I did engineering at the insistence of my parents, though I was unwilling to pursue this course as it was affecting my music practice for which I was committed and I was rather interested in going for classical music. Still today I am doing preparations for various competitive exams just to appease my father's expectations but unable to put my heart into it due to my inclination and intense love towards music and somewhere I feel my father wants to see me as an officer as well for fear of receiving societal sarcastic remarks, at the same time I also want to fulfil his expectations but it seems to be very much hard to me as I find myself in music all the time, as a result of which I am unable to put in great efforts in either fields. On the contrary I want to devote myself to music for my entire life. What should I do in this situation? Please help me get out of it. I need your precious guidance.

Ans. It’s wonderful to know that you are passionate about music. Most people are not fortunate enough to know what they love doing. It’s a gift to you to know your dream and that you want to pursue it. Success and excellence lies in precisely this state of being. Since you are already a ‘Visharad’ in music and have also surprisingly done a degree in engineering at the insistence of parents I suggest you should feel free to pursue whole heartedly your passion of music. You should plan your career well in the field of music by setting clearly your short term and long term goals and get going with it. Beating around the bush would not help at all. You should just go for it. All the best.

K.M

Q. I have studied till 10th here in Nagpur and I have completed my 12th from Andhra and scored 93.7% in the boards. I have appeared for JEE mains and didn't get qualified. I got 61 marks in it. I belong to OC category I want to do CSE. I like CSE branch the most. Should I take a year drop and attempt jee mains in 2016 or should I join an engineering college now? And please suggest if my choice about the engineering branch is right or not. Waiting for your reply.

Ans. It is advisable to move ahead by seeking an admission in a college rather than spending another year repeating the whole exercise. Computer is a great branch if only you are suited for it. There is a particular aptitude that is needed for programming and if you have that it becomes easy for you. Be sure of that before you take the branch.

M.A

Q. I am a 22 age guy I have completed my graduation from this year. During the graduation I am very stressed and no one close to me. But now I feel relax and preparing for civil exam. I want to socially be with people. So give suggestion to makes friends.

Ans. It is good to have social skills and you will need loads of it if you get selected in the civil exams. It can be learnt through training. If you are serious about it you could seek an appointment with me and we could chalk out a programme for you. It is a systematic training module which you would enjoy and be successful in developing the right kind of skills that you need. To begin with, start taking the initiative in greeting people and asking them simple questions about their welfare. Learn to ask them simple questions and try to make simple comments too. The next step could be done in the training sessions.

A.D

Q. I have passed 12 std last year with 76% marks. I took a drop to prepare for medical but am not sure if I will be able to make it or not. So I want to pursue my career in psychology if not medical. Can you please guide me about career in psychology the courses regarding it.

Ans. The first requirement is a graduation with one of the subjects as psychology. If you can get an Honours degree in Psychology it will be good for you. Then do a post graduation in Psychology and then after that you would need to specialise with an M.Phil in Clinical psychology. Please come for a session to understand the exact details. It is difficult to put out all the details here.

 

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