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“Concentration is the key to mind control”- 10 August 2014

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 02 October 2014 19:05


Q. I am a student of class 12. I thought of consulting you because I am suffering through one of my greatest hardships of life at this crucial stage of mine. My problem is-Only half a year for my board exams, I find it difficult to complete my course because of not having a strong foundation in classes 9, 10 and 11. This is also affecting my performance in entrance exams as I am not at all prepared in any way. It’s too late for me to recognize that I am lagging behind; but even then, I tried numerous ways to cover up and improve my concepts: I took help of scholarly notes, Internet, tuition classes etc. But in no way I was able to achieve success. I don’t receive good pattern of education in my current tuition classes, which would make my weak and stubborn mind understand. Should I take a year drop? Or is there any other option?

Moreover, my astrologer has told me that it would be a hard time for me till November 2014. But it would be too late then as I would not be able to take any decision regarding my future options (if I don’t improve by that time). I would have to take crucial decisions on admitting to new tuition classes (if I wish to take a year drop). The astrologer told that I have shani sadhe-saati and Rahu and Ketu antardashaas, due to which there are so subtle changes in my behavior. Earlier, I used be sincere and regular in studies, but now I find it as a burden, from whose load I would never be freed. The last year has changed my attitude and behavior thoroughly. I cannot control my urge for parties and our religious festivals; and hence find it difficult to sacrifice them for the sake of my studies. What to do or what not to do? This seems to be the greatest question for me. Due to all these, my parents also began remaining tensed as all their desires as dependent upon me. Please suggest me an appropriate way out; as I am in need of your urgent help.

Ans. Control your urges and social activities and improve your concentration to its fullest and you will sail through your studies. Studying is like meditation and cannot be achieved with distracted minds. You must learn to control your mind and keep it focused only on studies for a year. Stay away from all other actions of yours even if you lose friends and become unpopular. Career making is not a joke and has to be taken seriously. Concentration is the key to mind control and eventually success in life. Instead of blaming your astrological stars for your failure it is advisable to take responsibility for your behaviour and improve your habits. It is not impossible. However it is imperative that you do it right away. You do have enough time left.

Ku. Akshita Manwatkar.

Q. I am studying in class 10th.I want to become a pilot(Air).Kindly guide me
after 10th passing, about education, colleges, fees, flying club, etc all about to become a pilot in private flying club as well as in Air-force. Please guide me on my ways.
Ans. To become a pilot in the defence services (Air force) you would need to take science subjects (physics, chemistry, mathematics) in your 12 std and then appear for the National Defence Academy (NDA) entrance examinations. If you desire to work in the commercial sector as a pilot you need a graduation degree in any stream as a minimum qualification and then you need to join one of the training institutes in India or abroad to become a pilot. The duration is of one year only. The fees vary from each institute. To begin with at least do your 12th Std well with science and then come for a session with me for details.


“Understand the consequences of your behaviour”- 3 August 2014.

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 07 August 2014 16:38


Q. I cleared my 10 board this year and I am planning to take PCMB group but I am getting a bad feeling about maths as I am really bad in maths. I am preparing for PMT and I want to join civil services. I think if I take PCMB group it will become difficult for me to concentrate on pre entrance exams. I will have to put in extra effort to study maths. My parents won’t let me drop maths because they think it’s important for civil service exams and I am not able to understand what to do? Please help me out. What should I do?
Ans. This is seen to be a common dilemma among 10th pass students. Parents and students want to be doubly sure that all the streams are open to them after 12th Std. According to me this is because of faulty thinking and improper understanding of your aptitude and goals in life. The matter is in fact simple if looked at logically. If you are really bad in maths as you state then you should just give it up and the studies will rise with the standards and you will find it yet more difficult. Secondly if you are keen on medicine then it is proper for you to drop maths. As far as civil services are concerned I have two things to say about it. One is that you could work on your reasoning ability as the UPSC exam may need that ability. Secondly, I am of the opinion that if someone is seriously interested in becoming a civil servant and has all the qualities required for it all you need to do is a graduation and not a professional degree of the order of medicine. You ‘waste’ public money and also deprive a deserving student of a seat in medical college. Either be a committed doctor or be a civil servant. And of course drop maths by all means.


Q:  I was bright student till 1st semester of engineering, now I am getting failed in all semesters. Why is this happening? Till 1st semester I was studious girl, and doing studies regularly, but now I just get irritated to study more. Whenever I try to study, I am getting different thoughts. My aim is very high but only in thinking. Actually I am very frustrated, what to do? I want to complete my degree in distinction and then my IAS dream but my interest in studies is going on. Please help me.

Ans. A session of counselling will help in identifying the reasons for your irritation and your ‘different thoughts’. You can try to analyse your own mind and identify the mental blocks that interfere in your studies. Keep up the high aim and clear your mind of all different thoughts. If you cannot help yourself let us help you. But clear your time soon enough before it gets worse. A stitch in time saves nine we say.


Q. I am attracted to a boy in my class. He also keeps writing letters to me and keeps waiting for my letter. I am very scared of all these things. I am a good student and always do well in my exams. My parents have big hopes for me and I too want to be someone great in my life. Please believe me I never did bad things in my life ever. I am shocked with myself. I am very confused and do not sleep too whole night. Please help me madam. I don’t know whom to ask. I love my parents and I am very scared of them too. But my mind is always distracted and I am not able to concentrate on my studies. Please help me. What should I do? Please tell me what to do.


Ans. With age come many complex emotions leading to distractions. Instead of being scared of yourself and your parents it is better to understand the facts and control your mind, emotions and behaviour. Do not ‘do anything’ any behaviour that will land you in trouble. Boys will try to distract you and some/many girls will indulge in it too but it is always better to focus on your priorities in life. A wrong step now may be regretted later. Humans have intelligence to understand the consequences of their behaviour and therefore are able to check themselves. Be wise. Be calm. Ignore attractions.

“Accept the situation”- 27 July 2014.

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 07 August 2014 16:36


Q: I know a girl classmate for last 3 years very closely and she knows me too.  We did not express our love directly, but indirectly we share so much feelings. After graduation we parted for different university, and we did not meet for last one year. Now, she text messages to me and calls often. I think she still loves me, and I love her a lot. Help me. Is she in love with me or not? And till now I have not loved any other girl. We both are M.A. students.

Ans. Well both of you are mature enough to know and understand each others’ emotions. Your association has been a long one and quite sincere and pure I would say as both of you concentrated on your studies and kept away from absurd involvements. Both of you are now in post graduation stage which is a good age to consider seriously the issue of marriage. She seems to be interested in you as a good friend but it would be difficult for me to predict her attitude and values about the issue of marriage. If you feel you both share the same or quite similar views on marriage then she may be considering you as a partner for life. As you say that she is the only girl you have loved it would be worth the try to tap her on the subject gently. I would advise you not to be hasty for fear of scaring her away. Go slow and steady on the topic. I think your luck will favour you.

P.P. Raipur

Q. I am a student of class 12th and I have opted for PCM. I have opt for these subjects with my own wish but now I find maths (of JEE exam) as a difficult subject for me as I am preparing for JEE exam. I was a bit weak in maths till class 10th but I had chosen it because I liked it. I am also interested in biology and it was strongest part of mine but I was told that I can write PMT exam even after taking maths by taking one year drop. Now in the beginning session of class 12th I wanted to change to PCB but it was very difficult to take this decision and no one supported me. As when I sit to study I always wander in the thoughts that I must have opt for PCB because it was my stronger part and regret for the same. I have never imagined myself as a renowned engineer and so I think can never do it. I always fear of failure. Even the next year I cannot write 12th class PCB exam and prepare for PMT because my parents do not support me and it requires a lot of strength to go against everything and everyone which I lack. I have been given many other options about other fields but my I'm only interested in making my career in science - engineering and medical are only the renowned professions with good earning and reputation. As when I think of my future I find darkness all around and I often feel frustrated and depressed. When I want to discuss about this issue with my parents they only advise me to prepare well for 12th boards and thinking about future after exams because we had already discussed about this without drawing to a conclusion. But I cannot do this. I'm moving on with the subject which I'm not capable of. I'm not able to handle the situation and feel weird of the circumstances. I cannot help myself. I had performed my best till 10th and had scored well. I am hoping for best in my life but I think I have missed biggest opportunity in my life by not taking PCB and going for medical profession. Please help me.

Ans. This is a really bad situation to be in. I can understand your trauma and struggle to keep abreast with your studies. I feel sorry that your parents did not understand you well enough to help you make the correct decision about your future career. Now the only option seems to be to continue with your 12th with maths and appear for your board exams bravely. Without biology you cannot get into medicine until and unless you take a drop and get enrolled into 11 std all over again which will be another nightmare. But you could do that if you feel very strongly about biology and medicine. Otherwise you will have to continue with engineering somehow since you are stuck with either of the two of them.


“Have clean and healthy friendships”- 22 June 2014.

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 07 August 2014 16:34


Q. I have read your articles in Hitavada newspaper. I need your opinion -actually I have recently passed my H.Sc exam with 91%. I was also a 10th merit with 97%. My dream is to become an IAS officer. I want to be selected in my 1st attempt itself and I am ready to do any kind of efforts for that. I am thinking of doing B. Sc in order to focus on UPSC exams during my graduation itself but my parents and all those I have met (my relatives) told me to do B.E and then UPSC because they think that UPSC is a toughest one and if I failed then I will be only a M. Sc. But if I did B.E first then it will waste my four years unnecessarily because I don’t want to work as an engineer. My parents love me a lot and their concern is obvious. Please guide me. And one more question is if I am able to study for UPSC during my graduation.

Ans. Of course graduation in science is enough for meeting the eligibility criteria for UPSC. There has been a fashion for quite some time to do professional courses and then go for the UPSC for double security as your parents suggest. According to me this is an absolutely wrong trend as by doing engineering or medicine you spoil the seat of another deserving candidate and also waste public money if you study in a government college especially medicine. A good candidate aspiring to become join the administrative services should do a simple graduation in any stream and study hard for the competitive exams. You are sure to qualify with your single minded devotion and dedication. You should devote a few hours daily for the exams while doing graduation.

Deepa. K

Q. I have some problem regarding my professional life. I'm working as a lecturer in some college and also pursuing second year M. Tech from different college. I'm not able to manage this two  task properly and I don't want to leave my job, because of some reason, but the environment here is too bad, people over here are too selfish they doesn't help each other and some more things, because of this I get irritated and I remove my frustration on my parents. And after doing this I feel very guilty of what I did. Please guide me what to do- I don't like my this attitude I was not like this before but don't know how I developed this kind of  attitude in me.

Ans. Yes it is difficult to manage two heavy tasks. You should calculate your given time and the work that needs to be done and then prioritise. You could take study leave before the exams. Every college allows that. As far as changing attitudes are concerned, do not expect anything from anyone as your life is your responsibility and has to be managed by you. Each one manages their own lives to the best of their ability. You cannot base your aspirations on other’s help and goodness. Please keep calm, prioritise your tasks and take leave when exams are near.


Q. I am a 16 years old girl just completed my 10th std. I am having a boyfriend one year completed (with lots of breakup). I love him very much and even he do! Actually the problem is that! We both kiss each other but never did anything else. Can I be pregnant? I am very scared because last month I didn’t got my period and yes it has happened before also I missed my period for two month then I had taken some medicine and I got it. I am having thyroid and even a hormonal problem and I am fat too! Please help me -I am feeling like committing suicide.

Ans. Physical closeness is just not recommended before maturity. You will not become pregnant by kissing so rest assured. Do not think of committing suicide at any time. When in trouble seek a counsellor. Periods can be missed due to many reasons and one of them is stress. Worry, anxiety and mental stress can cause irregularities in your system. To lead a peaceful and stress-free life, keep away from all types of foolish behaviour. Have clean and


healthy friendships.

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