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“Of career making”- 30 March 2014

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Friday, 11 April 2014 20:16


Q. I am planning to pursue M.A clinical psychology from a college in Mumbai University. I wanted some information which I somehow am not getting from the internet and my seniors. I doubt its reliability. My queries are - 1. Can I become a lecturer after doing M.A Clinical psychology?? 2. I have heard often that clinical psychology does not benefit arts students. It only benefits doctors. Is this true?? 3. Can I work in hospitals after M.A in Clinical Psychology? If yes, how. Can you please guide me??

Ans. Let me answer your questions one at a time. In UGC sponsored colleges you would need to pass the National Eligibility Test (NET) or State Eligibility Test (SET) for jobs in state colleges. Private colleges may not be strict about these criteria and may hire you perhaps on a lower salary. As a post graduate you would be allowed to teach under-graduate students. Your second question about the usefulness of the course is that it is useful for arts students and it is not taught to doctors at all. If your aim is to practice clinical psychology and work in hospitals or elsewhere you should enrol for the two year M.Phil programme in Clinical Psychology conducted by various Institutes of Mental Health and not by the University. That will give you the registration with the RCI (Rehabilitation Council of India) and the recognition. That would qualify you as a Clinical Psychologist.


Q. I am a big fan of yours. I read every text of yours in the Hitavada newspaper. I need your guidance for my career. Because I am doing my engineering in Nagpur. I am in final year but according to me I am not satisfied with whatever I am doing from last four year. Sometimes I feel that I am not made for engineering. I want to do different things but I need your help for to judge myself and which field should be better for me. Please guide us mam.  I need to meet you. Please advice.

Ans. You would be helped with an aptitude test and a personality test to assess your abilities and your type to know what career would fit you the best. Try your best to pass your final year and get qualified as a graduate and then you could opt out of engineering and choose a different career that would make you happy. Please call my clinic for an appointment at an appropriate time. We would do the needful.


Q. I have undergone hell in last few months. Please help me mam. My parents have high expectations from me but I am not interested in studies at all. My mind goes blank and I feel sleepy all the time. My boyfriend left me for another girl and I am devastated. I want to commit suicide and my parents do not understand my state of mind. From both sides I am stuck. There is nobody for me in this world. I am the only child and my parents do not have the time to talk to me or sit with me. They are always cursing and abusing me for my studies. What should I do? Is there a way out?


Ans. This is an unfortunate situation where your personal life as well as your career making do not seem to be going anywhere. You do not express if you any other aims in life if you don’t like studies. Many students may not like academics but they do have other areas of talent which they would love to pursue. Personal life is important but not everything in life. You cannot be devastated for ever if your boyfriend ditches you. You cannot stop living and commit suicide if a boyfriend behaves stupidly. You cannot ruin your life if someone does not care for you. Start caring for yourself and start loving yourself first and think seriously about your career and what you would like to do in future. If you cannot help yourself then please do not hesitate to come for counselling. Life is precious. Live it.

“Bad relationships can damage the psyche”- 23 March 2014

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Friday, 11 April 2014 20:12


Q. I am 27 year old working in a bank. I am in a relationship with a guy from last six years. He is an engineer. Now my parents think about my marriage I told this my boyfriend but he told me that he can’t marry with me. He told me reasons that he has lot of responsibility, that his sister’s marriage is to be done. Actually he lost his father last year and his mother also suffers with breast cancer. I told him that I am ready to wait for him. I also told him that I and my parents are ready to help him in all situations but he also told me problem of caste as we are from different caste. He is not ready to marry with me. I love him a lot please help me.

Ans. This is really unfortunate for you. After being steady for six long years he brings up the caste issue. This is amazingly conservative. Did he make this issue clear to you earlier? His other family responsibilities are understandable and your parents are also willing to help him out. But he brings up the caste card. Either he is using this to say no to you or he is under the pressure of his mother. Either way he wants to get rid of you after six years or he has no guts. Either way it seems that he is not worth the trouble. A man who cannot make commitments and cannot stand up to his promises is no good. You cannot change people if they don’t want to change and you cannot help them if they don’t want your help. The sooner you left him the better. Detach yourself from him and find another partner –request your parents to search one for you. The past is over and the past is always as good as it lasts. Blame yourself for not recognising his true colours. Blame yourself for falling for a man like him.


Q. I am not very comfortable talking to women. I don't know why? But I blush at heart most time I talk with them. My confidence lacks when I am near them. What should I do to increase confidence and talk fluently with women? How do I overcome emotional problems because I am sensitive person and a coward. Recently I chatted with Alia Bhatt and learnt a lot from her. But what should I do to have strong heart from a tender heart?
Ans. Communication with the opposite sex is something people learn as kids. Those who go to coeducational schools are comfortable interacting with the other sex. Perhaps you never learnt the art of being with them in a normal way and of treating them as a normal human being. Change your attitude of looking at them as any other human being and not as someone special. Of course now at this stage you might need a few classes to build up your skills. You could start slowly by just saying hello to begin with and then gradually learn conversation step by step. We could help you with a few sessions of training and counselling. It is not impossible and can be learnt.


Q. I met with a guy from six months. He's in my college and lives near my house. Actually he had break-up with his ex girl friend. Now he says he's in love with me, 
but I don’t know what to do? I like him and don’t know my feelings about him. He keeps asking me lots of questions about love and marriage. He confuses me a lot. 
I never had a boy friend before and my parents will kill me if they found out. What should I do?

Ans. Keep away if you want to lead a happy and hassle free life. These love entanglements are a troublesome area to handle. Better to be safe and peaceful. Since he has had a breakup with his girl friend he is now in love with you. He seems to be falling in love at the drop of a hat. That itself speaks of his character. He might make friends with you on an impulse and then breakup after sometime elapses. There are some people who must always be in love with one or another! Focus on your career and study well. Make healthy friends and be in their company. Enjoy your college life.


“Do what you think is right”- 16 March 2014

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 20 March 2014 11:36


Q. I am an 18 year old engineering student.  It is like since my childhood I have been obese. But from the last 6 months, I have been climbing stairs on and off like circuits and I have been successful in losing 12 kgs. My parents at first were fully supportive for my initiative. They even agreed on me for going on a diet. But now, they are like I have lost enough weight. They want me to stop it and are always keen to feed me more and more. My dad scowls at me every time I climb stairs. Sometimes we even enter into an argument which I really don't like.  Right now I am 73 kgs and I have to be between 65 to 69 kgs relative to my height. It is like, I have never been thin and I feel great when people congratulate me for my weight loss. I want to experience how it is like being light weighted.  How do I make them understand my feelings?

Ans. Just go on doing what you feel is right and learn to ignore comments of family members. Many times parents refuse to understand the viewpoints of children due to their own anxieties about your health or due to their rigid mind sets and thoughts. Just smile and keep on doing what needs to be done. It is good to remain within your prescribed body weight as you rightly point out that it keeps you light and fit. Exercising in any form is good, climbing stairs is recommended by doctors. Do not get into an argument as it is a mood spoiler and creates bitterness. Your diet also should be controlled and within limits. Another way would be to join a gym which would make you feel very hungry as the exercise is rigorous enough and even beneficial as it leads to all rounded development of muscles under supervision. May be your parents would be happy with that as you would look stronger and even your diet intake would naturally increase.


Q. I am 29 years old MBA (mkt\fin) with M.com. Three years I worked as lecturer in a reputed college of Chhattisgarh in BBA dept. I am not interested in PhD NET and so don't want to continue with this job. I resigned because of least scope of growth without these degrees. Now I am unemployed. In Chhattisgarh industrial growth is less. I am worried and don't know from where to start because for all industries I am a fresher. Now I am giving psc but it’s tough for me.

Ans. All industries take freshers but you fear that your three years of service will not be counted. That may be so but you have to start somewhere if you want to discontinue teaching. You might start at a slightly lower grade but it is important to get into an industry. Once they realise your potential and know your worth they will promote you. As a qualified post graduate you should be willing to travel to other states if necessary later on with newer opportunities coming your way. Go through advertisements in national newspapers and Nagpur Hitavada which is closer home for you. Do not hesitate to make a small beginning as that is how everyone begins. Change your mind set and your attitude and things will begin to move.


Q. I am a 17 year old boy. I loved a girl, she is my classmate. I am a very shy kind of a boy. I didn't talk to any girl except her that also very less. A month ago I told her my feelings by a letter. I came to know that she is happy that someone loves her so much and also that it would be problematic in her family but after four days when we were face to face she said no. I knew from her friends that she considered me as a good guy. I wonder what happened and made her say no. Since then she is ignoring me. I didn’t got to talk to her. She is a fair tall beautiful girl and I am dark. What should I do? I really love her and very passionate and desperate for her now my life seems meaningless please help.

Ans. I think you know the answer and the reason for which she refused your friendship. She mentioned that it would be problematic in her family so she would like to play cool and safe. She is a wise and sensible girl as she knows her limitations and wants to stay within it. Get rid of your feelings of dark colour as that may not be the reason. There could be many other reasons one can think of but there is no way to know about them until she expresses them. You cannot force anyone to say yes to you. So in the best interests of both of you just smile and accept the rejection. No need to be pained too much. You made a bold attempt and it failed. Never mind. Life is large and extensive. You will find many more opportunities and better ones. Study and focus on studies and career building for some years.


“Fortune favours the brave”- 9 March 2014

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 20 March 2014 11:31


Q. I am 18 years old girl. I was chatting with a guy from 3 months. He's in my college and tuitions also. Previously I was very much addicted towards our chatting. Actual he had break- up with his ex girl friend. Now he says that he's in love with me but I never felt like love by my side. At the same time he says that he is not confident that his feelings for his ex might return. What should I do? Please help me.

Ans. You have to be careful that you do not get hurt in this process. Normally people take time to get over their past break-ups and the chances of their old for each other love re-igniting is also there. So be careful how you handle this friendship. You should seriously consider your feelings when you do not ‘feel’ the love from his side even though he says that he loves you. So watch out for a confused mind for he may be hanging on to your friendship in the rebound. After break-ups some people may look for consolation and sympathy and shoulders to cry on. They may also look for reaffirmation of their lost self esteem and confidence in the company of other friendships. It would be advisable to not get too close and neither to commit to him for a longish time till you get better vibrations and also find him healthier in his mind and manner.


Q. I am an MBA passed out candidate in June 2013 and since that period I am unable get a proper job and from last two and half months I have no job and it create lot of laziness in me and disturb me and it seems all are moving forward and I am remaining back, as my friend circle is not more than two friends and no body to share my views and emotions. Please give some solutions.

Ans. It is always best to get into any job that is available and not wait for the proper job to come your way. It is important to take up whatever is offered to you even though it might be below your expectations for that has many advantages you may not be considering right now. Any job gives you experience, keeps you busy, fetches you some pocket money, gets you a platform to meet new people and a ground for knowing the market place where offers for others jobs will come your way. Sitting at home will make your depressed, induce laziness, disturb you emotionally and lower your confidence. Leave your ego at home and start working anywhere whatever comes your way. Try it and see how life treats you. We know fortune favours the brave.


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