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“Know your Aptitude”-18 February

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Wednesday, 04 April 2018 17:59

S.S

Q. I am a student in class 11 and I have taken science stream in Nagpur. I am a bit confused regarding my studies and my decision to move in science as I am not able to concentrate on studies as I am an well esteemed reader of news paper and I found about you and I don't want it to be get late and I wanted to have an appointment with you in your clinic for some counselling. And I wanted some details regarding the appointment and counselling and does Sunday is a working day or not??

Ans. There are many students in a similar position as you. This happens when we as a family do not sit together and thrash out the details of what you like, dislike, aims and ambitions and interests and your type of personality. Career choice is one of the few most important that you make in your life. People work for forty to fifty or more years of their life and hence the right decision is so vital. The best way to go about it is to get an aptitude test done followed by the counseling for guidance. We can help you with the entire process. You are right about not wanting to delay the process. The best way is to call one of the numbers below and speak to us about the details. We will surely help you.

A.V

Q. I am 22 year old and in 3 months I will graduate as a mechanical engineer. I want to work in government sector for which I decide to prepare for IES and GATE exam , but now government is reducing vacancies in government sector, what should I do.? Should I prepare for IES and GATE ? or shall I prepare for something else (  if yes then what are other sector to prepare for ) ? Please do help me.

Ans. Of course, you should prepare for IES and GATE if you are keen for the Government sector. I hope you know the difference between the two exams. IES clearance gets you into a job directly and GATE clears the way for M.Tech education. If you are job oriented then IES is the exam of choice and if you are research oriented and like academics then GATE is the choice. First decide what is your goal and then work hard on it. Even if the vacancies are reducing it does not mean that you should panic and give up your dreams. It only means you should believe in yourself and your capacities and that you should be very positive about it.

R.K

Q. I am 34 year female and I am married happily. I was very happy with my life and everything was going good but now things are not going in my favour. I feel very depressed and nothing makes me happy. I cannot think of single thing that makes me happy. Everything annoys me or bothers me. I feel sad most of times and I don’t tell anyone about it thinking everyone will get worried about me or thing I am doing it to create drama and I want the attention but I am seriously very sad. I feel like I am trapped in a sad soul and my soul is getting tired of this life and it is draining my emotional energy down. I need counseling treatment.  Let me know what will work for me.

Ans. It seems like depression but we need to know more details about you and your symptoms. There are types of depression and that is important to ascertain for the right kind of treatment. If you are happily married there has to be some reasons for the onset of symptoms and their progression. Because you sound quite down and badly so, I would suggest that you do not delay and come immediately for sessions of counseling and psychotherapy. The more you prolong it the worse it is likely to become. It is always better to seek early diagnosis and early cure. Almost 85% of depression cases can be treated without medicine and with just psychological therapy. Do not hesitate and call one of our numbers. Do not worry and do not delay.

“Emotional healing after post trauma important”- 11 February 2018

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Wednesday, 04 April 2018 17:57

S.M

Q. I am 26 years working gal. My parents have been looking for a guy for me since last two years and lately they are pressurising me to get married. But the very thought of it scares me. It has happened that on last two occasions where everything was about to get finalized, I backed out. I don't know, but I am not able to prepare myself for this lifelong commitment. I am an introvert by nature and take time to open up. Also, I had a past relationship around 4 years ago, where I was emotionally abused and was hurt to the core. Since then I always maintain distance from guys and to my bad luck always end up trusting wrong people especially men. I feel helpless and feel like crying all the time. I also have frequent mood swings. Please help me out.

Ans. Marriage is a choice and a serious one as it’s a decision to shoulder the responsibility to start a family and be committed for life. I agree with you that it should never be forced on you by your parents. However I also realise that your bad experience with a male friend has made you bitter and depressed. I would sincerely suggest you to seek sessions of counselling to get over and heal your wounds caused by the trauma of abuse and exploitation. The wounds should not begin to damage your personality and leave lasting scars. You should heal and recover from the stress and move on with life with a positive energy. Marriage is an option and a choice and cannot be forced. Resist it if you will.

ABC

Q. I sometimes feel very helpless about certain issues of our society and want to bring about awareness about it. I want to start an NGO but I don’t know the procedure for it. Can you please help me?

Ans. It is a good idea to get into social entrepreneurship and start an NGO. It is a body that needs to be registered at the office of the Charity Commissioner at Civil Lines in Nagpur. Other districts also may have the same system. There are rules governing the formation of the NGO which you need to find out from the office itself. There are many NGO’s working in the country and this region doing good work. It is nice to know that the new generation of youth like you want to come forward and do something good for society in general.

A.S.

Q. I am a 16 year old boy, preparing for class 12th board exams and NEET. Recently in my college, I have started observing that my English teacher is skipping my periods, and hanging out with her colleagues. This is happening for the last 2 months. I am a bit concerned as I don't have any external tutions for English, unlike other subjects. So, I am fearing that it could affect my results of my board exams. I personally discussed the same with her and my parents, but they scolded me and told that I should mind my own business. But I am concerned about my boards. Please advise me so as to what should be my next step.

Ans. Find out if there are more students like you who are affected and would join you in making a polite request to the teacher and to the management. It will help if you go together in a group so that you are not isolated and targeted. The problem also becomes a general one affecting many and not you alone. If you complain alone you become a complainer and can be victimised by the college. But a group complaint will have value and conviction that what you are saying is true. The teacher also can be contacted and requested for help and guidance. It is unfortunate that some of the regular staff of some colleges are not performing their duties and forcing their students to opt for coaching and tutors which is an extra burden on the pockets of parents. When colleges take fees they should perform their duties well with excellence and a sense of responsibility and no child should opt for coaching unless he is a learning disordered child. The best thing would be to join hands with many and make a presentation. It is your right to do so.

“Illusions and delusions”- 4 February 2018.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Wednesday, 04 April 2018 17:56

A.K

Q. I am 28 year old guy. I have my own business of stationery. We are leading sellers of it and we have a proper market of it. I am not married yet because I don’t feel happy. I feel that even if I work it is not the kind of work which I love. I feel it is more of duty and a burden on me. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I feel helpless and hopeless. I can’t find the proper hope in my life or reason to live. I sometimes feel I should die instead of following the same routine in my life.  I give up I want to quit and escape from here. Please help me what to do or someday this sadness will kill me.

Ans. Yes, I understand this problem of having to take over the family business which is not of your liking. Scores of people face this moral and psychological dilemma. Many of those who happily take over the family business are lucky and blessed and many suffer like you. This needs to be discussed many times over with your father and your mother and you will need to convince them of your mental plight. I hope you have an alternative goal of your liking and a plan of action for the same. Your mental clarity of what you want to pursue will help you convince your parents of your seriousness and the viability of your goals. If you just want to escape this situation without a clear goal for future then it is better that you hang on till you find an alternative. The fact is that work is important, whether you like it or not. You are also 28 years of age.

M.S

Q. I am 32 years old female. I stay alone as I am working and even my husband is working in other city. I stay in Nagpur. From past one month I am facing some serious issues. I feel like wherever I go or whatever I do someone is been following me. I see shadows or ghost. I get very scared. I even sweat like anything.  One day I was trying to look myself into the mirror and I almost saw something which I am not quite sure about. I think it’s all in my brain and it is a mental problem but still I am very cloudy about it. What should I do Ma'am?

Ans. Living alone can be scary at times if you are not comfortable with it. You are right about it being a mental condition and part of your psyche. It could also arise out of being suspicious about someone or something and it obviously part of being insecure and fearful. Ghosts can be an illusion or a delusion. You must not hesitate and come for counselling to help us ascertain the problem. Do not worry, it can be cured totally. It indicates a slight disturbance of the mind and can be taken care of easily.

V.W

Q. I am a 17 year old guy. I am in love with a girl since I was in seventh std. She is one year younger than me. I was very much scared to express my feelings to her about it. She was not having any idea about my feelings towards her. After 3 years she change the school due to some personal reason. I was very sad after she left the school. Then after some days I saw her. She was with her parents travelling somewhere. After 1 month she sent me message on social site and we started talking. At that time I was in 10 std. I started going in her house area she would wait for me in her house balcony. We started meeting each other. And after some days I propose her and she replied negatively. But also she would wait for me and once I had gone in her house also. She is very intelligent and good looking and I am average boy. Now she not reply me I asked her why she not accept my proposal she said that she cannot be in relationship for more time. I don't I don't know that she love me or not. My friends say to block her on social site but I am not able to. I think one day she would message. Please suggest to how I can get over it. How to know that she love me or not? Please suggest to how I can get over it.

Ans. She certainly likes you but not enough to commit to you. You are too young to make proposals in 10th Std! Stop making proposals and just maintain a good happy friendship which she seems open to. That is sensible of her not to get carried away with your emotions. Enjoy her company, tell her to forget your proposal and to get back to being friends. Tell her you miss her friendship and that you promise to never trouble her. I am glad you have not blocked her on social media for you like her and need her and she is not troubling you in any way. In fact you are troubling her by getting serious about a good friendship. Just leave it at that and enjoy healthy friendship.

“Mobile addiction is a disorder now”- 28 January 2018.

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Written by Rita Aggarwal
Wednesday, 04 April 2018 17:54

M.S

Q. I am 37 years old male. I am having a job in a IT firm. I was topper of my batch that’s why I am head of people where I work. It is a normal job where I need to work 8 hours a day. I just do office work and come back home. I was doing fine but now I have started realising that my life is not going anywhere. I just feel stuck on one place. I feel like I am following same schedule in my life and nothing excites me anymore. I feel bored and lonely. I feel so bored many times that I start to get frustrated even on small things. Like if I don’t get tea within five minutes so I will get annoyed and I will act crazy. I don’t know what to do. I feel like giving up and going somewhere but even that is not possible. Please help me what should I do now?
Ans. This seems like a mid-life crisis where monotony and boredom sets in as the routine goes through several years and the job loses its challenge. People do need some new goals and slightly challenging tasks to keep the interest going otherwise people can doze off on auto-pilot so to say! You need to introspect within or sit with a trusted spouse or friend and discuss your professional goals for the present and in the long term. Change your job if necessary or innovate in the same job if possible. Aim for a promotion or an additional duty if possible. You may have to find ways and means of making life interesting. The mood disturbance may spring from your personal life too and you may have signs and symptoms of mild depression. A session of counselling may help identify the exact nature of your malaise.
A.K
Q. I am 22 years old female. I feel mentally very unstable. I am happy person in general but I think a lot. I keep on having many ideas in my mind which I know won’t work for me. Right now my parents wants me to complete the degree and then figure out what I want to do in my life but again I feel to drop the studies because I cannot concentrate. Whenever I try to studies there are hundreds of thoughts coming in my mind. I feel very irritated. To distract my mind I even do yoga and meditation exercises. I just want my mind to be calm. What else can be done Ma'am please help me.
Ans. You might be having a problem of hyperactivity and attention as well. However, too much thinking occurs due to several reasons and you say you are an adult of 22 years of age. You might have completed your graduation and might be pushed by parents to pursue post graduation which you may be reluctant to do. That might be upsetting your mental equilibrium. We need to have more details of your situation and your mental status to come to a sensible diagnosis. This is not a very serious situation and we can help you find a simple solution. We can help calm your mind and train you with techniques to calm the mind and control it too.

Anuj.
Q. I am 17 years old guy and I am very addicted to cell phone. I cannot stay without my cell phone. It is not that I am talking to bunch of girls on my phone I even play games, watch movies or shop online. Even my parent’s gets very irritated if I use mobile in front of them all the time. If I don't check my phone the thought of using it will come popping in my mind again and again and no matter how much I try I will use it for sure. I don’t know what should I do. The most longer time I stayed without using my phone was only five hours. I am trying to work on this habit but I think I should see a counsellor so that they can guide me more and give me professional help about how can it more damage my brain. Please help me and give me your suggestion.

Ans. Yes, you could come for counselling and a few sessions will do good to you. Technology addiction has been declared as a ‘mental disorder’ now officially. Too many people are getting affected by it and it is disturbing social life as well as your studies I am sure. Your parents are already unhappy with you as they realise what you have got into. it makes you disconnected with the real world as you tune in to the virtual most of the time. I am glad you are realising it and accepting the fact that you need help. This is the first good sign to recovery!

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